|
|
Monday, October 11th, 2004
|
|
|
|
a year ago from now EVERYTHING was different
|
|
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
|
| Time: | 3:38 pm. |
| Mood: |  crushed. | | Music: | 311-transistor. |
|
i wnated to rite something beautiful
something people would just HAVE to read again
to where i would get millions of comments
from ppl who read it and just had to tell me what a brillant person i am
and how i have changed their entire lives with my words
how i rescued them for the drull and colorless worlds they live in
how they once more have faith in the human race
bc if one person can creat so much magic with some silly symbols then there must be others with talents like that
but i couldnt
|
|
Saturday, January 31st, 2004
|
|
|
im so sad rite now
and i dont really no why
well maybe
idk
i just feel like everything i do is for someone else
i feel like im betraying myself
laitly ive felt like everything i do for anyone its jsut not enough
like im not good enough for anyone
ive felt like i jsut owe everyone so much
and i jsut have so little to give
and its worn me out
but i realized that really i just dont feel good enough for me
im so tierd and so lonely
i feel like i have noone
and i no thats not true
but thats how i feel
and i hate it
im so worn out
im so tired
|
|
Thursday, January 29th, 2004
|
|
|
hi this is leah
i just wanted to type on alis journal bc it was on the comp when i walked by andi wanted to PLAY.welli dont really kno what to say except i cant wait until monday bc its my BIRTHDAY!!!i wish ali would stop eating in my ear. well well well i cant wait until saturday bc the ladies are getting together for a bday party!!!yea!!! I LOVE YOU BLAIR MEEKS!!!! well we are going to go "LITE IT UP" peace it hommy g nigga WHAT?!
|
|
Sunday, January 11th, 2004
|
|
|
today leah mom nana and i went to see peter pan
IT WAS AMAZING
absolutly beautiful
i loved it and i suggest everyone rush and see it
i cried a bit during it
it wasnst sad
just beautiful
and i suppose it made me see the lack of beauty in my llife
dont get me wronge my life is fine
jsut not as beautiful as i wish it was
or it once was
or as it could be
i really want to see Big Fish
alot they say it is tim burtons wizard of oz
i love tim burtons mind
and im crazy about the wizard of oz
i want to see it as soon as i can
perhaps i will bring a date
yes i would love that
a bit of romance is sure to add beauty to my life
but im not exactly the dating type
well im not exactly the date getting type
ha
o well
this has been a movie breif with ali todd
=]
|
|
Saturday, December 27th, 2003
|
| Time: | 11:38 pm. |
| Mood: |  disappointed. |
|
im so lonely
i want to be in love
|
|
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
|
|
|
|
o christmas is so close
and i am so sick
and not happy about it at all
i have broncitisafjashfa fg--cant spell it
and..... dun dun dunnnnnn pnoamonia--cant spell that one either
and i threw up alot!!!
i havnt thrown up from other then being drunk since i was in the 6TH grade!!!!
they gave me steriods im not sure why but they had a good reason
im alot more sick then i was on thanksgiving
and i still have to go and get presents for a few people
but other then the being sick part i am just in a wonderful mood
but i m bored out of my mind bc i really cant do anything
oooo i have something very funny to tell.......
LEAH BROKE HER FOOT!!!!!
the other night we were having a christmas party we were all drunk as fuck and someone told leah that ppl were smoking crack in her room so she jumped up and ran to the stairs but be4 she got there she stepped on baxters pig hoof chew thingy and fell backwards she laid there for atleast three hours until she made it up to her bed but no one believed she broke her foot no one except me i told her as soon as my car was rescued id take her to the doctor but she finally talked dad into taking her and sure enough it was broken ha
o yea my car is all the way out in barnardsville damnit
it got stuck
|
|
Sunday, November 30th, 2003
|
|
|
today i feel...
discouraged, stressed, lost, afraid, pathetic, worthless, annoyed, annoying, angery, crushed, depressed, stupid, tierd, forlorn, dejected, glum, morbid, somber, blue, abject, miserable, trivial, useless, deserted, empty, really really alone and just plan sad
...like a fucking loser
|
|
Monday, November 17th, 2003
|
| Time: | 11:12 pm. |
| Mood: |  scared. | | Music: | synesthisia afi. |
|
DEAD END
WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE
|
|
Sunday, November 9th, 2003
|
| Time: | 9:10 pm. |
| Mood: | just fine. | | Music: | hell yea-dead prez. |
|
this song explains how i feel about almost everyone im close to
DON'T SPEAK
You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always
I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
CHORUS
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying ... are we?
CHORUS
and its a bad song
|
|
Thursday, October 30th, 2003
|
|
|
things are so funny
i love it
|
|
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
|
|
Friday, October 24th, 2003
|
|
|
guys in the morning pizza just tastes better cold
MA MA MA MARIJUANA DAY! TREA!
"leah needs toilet paper"
|
|
Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
|
|
|
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i wish i was high
i need to be high
soo much
but i cant be
so i think ill do the next best thing
and go to sleep
|
|
Sunday, October 5th, 2003
|
| Time: | 3:30 pm. |
| Mood: | im feeling good. |
|
i got a job at little ceasers today
i start tuesday at 430
it was very scary
the lady was scary
damnit i had something to say
but i forgot
lalala la la
thats supposd to be the daria changing sceens sound
well i have company awaiting
i just wanted to drop in and share the good news
and i wanted to say something else
but i cant remember
|
|
Saturday, September 27th, 2003
|
|
|
wow tonight i changed my views on so many things
im really confused right now
|
|
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
|
|
|
I was talking with bryan today, about how everything has changed so much and I personally feel I have for the better. over like the last few months I have changed completely (well im still the same old ali we all no and love so much)I am so much fucking happier now a days and I care less and less of what other ppl think about me im just being my self I haven’t been myself in so long, I havnt known how. and sure the past few months I haven’t been really deep, in the search to help myself by helping others or responsible or any other shit like that. I’ve just had fun. this time has been for me, completely for me. and im loving it. AND I NO MY PARENTS AND FRIENDS WORRY ABOUT ME AND MY LITTLE HABITS, BUT THEY NEEDN’T WORRY. IM JUST HAVING FUN. WORRY IF I USE IT AS A CRUTCH. WORRY IF IT STOPS BEING FUN AND BECOMES A NESSECITY. and believe it or not I no what’s good for me. I no me better then anyone else. I no wahts good for me and I no what’s bad for me, im not saying what I do is good for me im just saying I no if I have a problem. im a huge hypochondriac I always want something new to complain about something to tell my therapist. I no I don’t have a problem and I no if I did I would find help.
sorry about that I just felt I should rite that back to my changes.
I really like the sense of realism I have now. I used to be so pessimistic, but now I just see things the way THEY are. I see people the way they are I see and I accept things as is.
I was looking back at some of my old entries it was fucking hilarious. I was so fucking whinny so depressed so pathetically searching for pity. all I did was complain about bullshit and try to make it sound poetic.
some quotes...
"im fucking up my life
but it doesn’t matter
not much does"
"someone please talk to me,
I hate being lonely like this."
"I try to like me
no use
I hate myself"
"what the fuck am I try ing to do
im such a fucking loser"
what a sad miserable life I lead. how I’ve gotten this far, I will never know. could I have whined any fucking more. notice how I try to sound like a little pitiful helpless damsel in distress, I just sound like a little whinny dumb bitch. what did I think I was going to accomplish? that just pisses me off, how stupid that shit is. and its funny that’s exactly what LJ is, dumb whinny bullshit, from everyone. and just try to fucking argue with that but you cant bc it’s the truth. bc ppl arnt looking for moral support or understanding we're fucking looking for ppl to pity us and that’s it.
stupidity is funny
|
|
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
|
|
|
this morning-
did you wake up and with the first breath you took, you were filled with all the good that floats around you feeling it flow down into the smallest crevices deep inside you
or
did you try to breath but it hurt too badly, the breath you wished to take was too thick and much too sour, everything has clumped together into this gigantic orphasis too big to handle, therefore turned to nothing
|
|
Sunday, August 31st, 2003
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
genialdejection's journal
high.
exhausted.
bored.